the call.

been reminiscing for the last few days. finally gonna go home...it's been a year or so since i've seen my family. sadly, i won't be seeing ivana or vania and phillip's leaving the day after i get in...so it'll just be me.

but home is home. i've been thinking about what the future holds -and how i'm scared because truthfully, i don't know what it has in store for me. i like prepping and knowing things, but i guess this is life right? something i'll just take a step at a time. don't get me wrong, i'm very excited, more anxious and nervous...to meet new and experience new things. nevertheless, i'm sad to go...starting to wonder who i'll still keep in touch with from here, can't say i'll come back and stay for long. i don't know where i'll be in a few years, probably working in asia somewhere...i guess it's a test of friendship right? and faith.

it's weird though, it's like returning to a different world...or going to a different planet? it's like how i feel when i travel on the tour with vania, it's a whole different ball game to say the least. press, photographers, ppl yelling and cheering...and then it's like a movie in slow motion. where the world is passing by and i'm sitting there in freeze frame. i feel that way in transition modes...where i'm not behind, but at a whole different pace than others.

i guess what i miss most, when i leave places it the people. yeah, you know who you are. it's gonna be strange not having lunch/dinner/coffee/hanging out/laughing with you everyday when i leave. guess i'm in that cheesy, teary mode now. i never worry about where i'm going, because i'm a strong believer in that it's the people that make things happen. they either make ur life miserable or extremely happy. thanks for making my life a breeze these past four and a half years...

it started out as a feeling
which then grew into a hope
which then turned into a quiet thought
which then turned into a quiet word

and then that word grew louder and louder
til it was a battle cry

i'll come back
when you call me
no need to say goodbye

just because everything's changing
doesn't mean it's never
been this way before

now we're back to the beginning
it's just a feeling and no one knows yet
but just because they can't feel it too
doesn't mean that you have to forget...