sleepless nights

sooooooo same old story. haven't written in ages. been so busy -starting grad school..pulling all nighters. why? i have no idea...i used to at penn..but never htis much. and it sucks that i live in the g.h.e.t.t.o. so i can't walk home whenever and at lesta get an hour or two of sleep instead of sleeping in studio..or just not sleeping. which i'll probably do tonite :/

anyways another new day (wrote the above a few days ago) it's 8am and i'm gonna go tailgate :) then go to studio hahhaha.

too bad my voice is shot. felt really sick yesterday kept feeling really really hot then really really cold. :p but went to bed at 9 and slept for 10 hours :) loads better now.


anyways i keep thinking that in less than a month im gonna b 22. every year i write these goals and things that i want to achieve...haven't achieved all of them yet.

...got less than a month. haha

ehhhh gotta get dressed now.

china bound.

that's it i'm going to china next summer. i've decided. took me all of 8 minutes to watch 8.8.08. i should anyways in my life time, i think i've hit almost every other place but the motherland. i should see where half my grandparents grew up. damn...i've never been this patriotic to china. but here i am.

the olympic opening ceremony is so amzing words can't even describe.

ahhhHHHHHHHH so excited! weeeeeeee

i knew it i knew it! not to be racist or anything..but chinese ppl can't stand being looked down upon, they always have to be the best. maybe that's y i'm so egotistical i don't know.

the call.

been reminiscing for the last few days. finally gonna go home...it's been a year or so since i've seen my family. sadly, i won't be seeing ivana or vania and phillip's leaving the day after i get in...so it'll just be me.

but home is home. i've been thinking about what the future holds -and how i'm scared because truthfully, i don't know what it has in store for me. i like prepping and knowing things, but i guess this is life right? something i'll just take a step at a time. don't get me wrong, i'm very excited, more anxious and nervous...to meet new and experience new things. nevertheless, i'm sad to go...starting to wonder who i'll still keep in touch with from here, can't say i'll come back and stay for long. i don't know where i'll be in a few years, probably working in asia somewhere...i guess it's a test of friendship right? and faith.

it's weird though, it's like returning to a different world...or going to a different planet? it's like how i feel when i travel on the tour with vania, it's a whole different ball game to say the least. press, photographers, ppl yelling and cheering...and then it's like a movie in slow motion. where the world is passing by and i'm sitting there in freeze frame. i feel that way in transition modes...where i'm not behind, but at a whole different pace than others.

i guess what i miss most, when i leave places it the people. yeah, you know who you are. it's gonna be strange not having lunch/dinner/coffee/hanging out/laughing with you everyday when i leave. guess i'm in that cheesy, teary mode now. i never worry about where i'm going, because i'm a strong believer in that it's the people that make things happen. they either make ur life miserable or extremely happy. thanks for making my life a breeze these past four and a half years...

it started out as a feeling
which then grew into a hope
which then turned into a quiet thought
which then turned into a quiet word

and then that word grew louder and louder
til it was a battle cry

i'll come back
when you call me
no need to say goodbye

just because everything's changing
doesn't mean it's never
been this way before

now we're back to the beginning
it's just a feeling and no one knows yet
but just because they can't feel it too
doesn't mean that you have to forget...

hate the game.

franklin institute

can i just say that watching the dark knight at the franklin institute is freaking awesome. you sit in this dome while it plays all around u...it's like ur flying in the scene. crazy O.o

other than that -not up to much, can't wait to move weeeeeeeeee

relaxation confused

Currently in boston...waiting for a friend to meet up for dinner. One of those days where i'm debating who to call but went down my list of ppl and figured they r either busy/don't wanna talk haha sad i know

Also in a current state od annoying pain, wisdom teeth are growing in painfully wrong hopefully i can make it till i get home.

Past few days have been nice tho -talking, doing nothing and shopping hehe wut i like best. Haven't been to the gym in ages O.o well since saturday? Must fix that when i get back...

It's been nice though -just sitting with a best friend and at that point where you can just sit in silence or in my thoughts and not say anything or until i say something random like "asylum" wrong...i blame the wisdom teeth O.o haha

Now im just people watching , something i love to do but don't have a chance to do much...just laying on the grass observing...haha okay maybe its been on my mind lately...

But i just saw this couple who (don't mean to b mean) but look like they've been on crack together...it's one of those things where i'm like damnnn they've managed to find someone and i'm like wtf?!

Dunno if i should laugh cuz it gives me a little flicker of hope or should i cry cuz its freaking depressing hahahhaha

But i refuse to settle for less haahaha

Okay had to move from grass :( random italian guy just came up and was like "eyyyyyy italiano...blah blah you very pretty" O.o

Sketchy ppl...not a way to approach a girl -well me haha good confidence, bad wording :p

Anyways gotta gioio

so frustrated i almost cried today. and i never cry.

over money and business. so pathetic.

sometimes i wonder how the world would be without the concept of money. i don't know if that would make things completely worse or better (to tell you the truth.) i feel like something would replace it.

i hate it that it's at times such a menial thing, yet so necessary in life.

it's not the fact that i'm without it, it's the fact that we as people have to negotiate with it. i would explain more, but this isn't the most private place even though only like one person hahah reads it :p

which i appreciate hahahhaha (thanks, baby)

anyways other than that i went to mcdonald's today hahaha. even though i don't eat fast food -so i could get the po toy from kung fu panda haha the funny this is that when i was little i never got happy meals.

so made my day, well as much as it could. and good thing/bad thing i didn't waste the food, when i walked out i saw these three little boys begging for food -so i gave my meal to them. O.o so sad, when i see children begging...normally i don't give anything to bums or hobos...but they were kids...wut could i do?

happy july 4th weekend.